Twelve Challenges- Moving Intentionally from Childhood to Adulthood

As my children have grown, I have tried to be intentional with each phase that they pass through.  Challenging them to stretch and grow, learn new things, and to accept responsibility.  The season of the teen years is one that intimidates me.  Will my children still love God?   Will they love their dad and me?  Will the journey to independence be filled with trials?  I know that God holds all these things in His hands and I can only do what He has called me to do- love my children, show them grace, model Christian living, train them to do difficult things and then let them go into His hands.

Years ago, we watched some wise mentors walk their children from childhood to adulthood in a very intentional manner.  There was no expectation of rebelling.  No abandoning the young adults just as they needed their parents' guidance.  It was done in a manner than tied their children's hearts to theirs while simultaneously letting them move into independent and responsible adulthood.

Our eldest son turned twelve this year.  That cusp of young adulthood, he is sprouting both in stature and maturity right before our eyes.  In order to help him along this journey, we gave him Twelve Challenges.   He is expected to complete these before his thirteenth birthday at which time he will receive additional privileges to launch him on a young man's journey to adulthood.

Here is the letter that we gave him along with the twelve challenges.  Also this year, we will be reaching out to several influential men in his life to ask for input and prayer as he grows.  Feel free to use these in your own family however you see fit.  Next year, I'll have to update you!

2015

Dear ________,

            Twelve years ago today, God gave us a precious gift:  YOU!  It has been amazing and fun to watch you grow from an infant to a toddler, to a little boy, and now to a young man.  You are an amazing older brother and a friend to everyone you meet.  It has been our delight to watch the gifts and talents that God has blessed you with begin to emerge.  You have a love for learning about anything new.  You are a natural leader who loves justice.  Your kind heart recognizes when others are hurting and we’ve seen you reach out to comfort.  Your quick mind easily grasps new concepts and learning comes easily to you.  God will use these to bring His Kingdom to bear upon this world.  We can’t wait to see how!

            Since before you were born, we have often thought of how God would use Joshua in the Bible to influence and be an example to you.  He led his people in the face of great opposition, standing up for the Lord in a world filled with false teachings.  The Lord told Joshua, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  These words from God are for you as well.

            God has called men to be leaders.  They carry responsibility to care for their families, the communities and the world.  Men are called to take the lead and the Lord has placed great responsibility on their shoulders.  In order to grow into a servant leader like Christ, you will need to rely on His strength and wisdom, humbling submitting to His Holy Spirit with each step.  This is not easy, but He has planned a special path and tasks just for you to complete for His glory.  You have what it takes to be a man of God.

                        As you turn twelve today, there are some new things for you to learn as you move toward manhood.  We have planned twelve challenges for you that are designed to stretch and test you physically, intellectual and spiritually.  You may complete these challenges in any order you choose.  You have one year to complete these twelve challenges.  If you complete all twelve by your thirteenth birthday, you will receive a number of new privileges.

            As you put childhood behind you, remember how much we love you and that we are here to support you at any age.  We are so proud of the strong, creative and godly man that you are becoming. 

We love you,

                                                                                                            Mom and Dad

Twelve Challenges

Challenge #1:  Understanding the Needs of the World- You will volunteer 4 times.  (Homeless shelter, help with disabled children, City Lights Women and Children Shelter, food bank, etc)

Challenge #2:  Knowing God’s Word – You will read How to Study the Bible for Kids and apply it to a book of the Bible such as James.

Challenge #3:  Growing into a Man of God – You will read Boyhood and Beyond and Do Hard Things and discuss them with Dad.

Challenge #4:  Understanding your freedom – You will memorize the preamble of the Constitution and be able to discuss the Bill of Rights.

Challenge #5:  Considering your future- You will research various colleges and college majors.   You will identify 3 majors of interest and find the top 10 colleges that offer those majors.

Challenge #6:  Having a job- You will earn $500.  You will then tithe a portion, save a portion, invest a portion and spend a portion.

Challenge #7:  Understanding Money – You will complete Money Matters for Teens.  You will also create a budget for a family of 4.

Challenge #8:  Understanding your responsibilities -

a.     You will take a gun safety course and go shoot at a range or with an expert (and Dad).

b.     You will learn basic car repair (change the oil, change tire, fill coolant, etc)

c.      You will learn basic bike repair (patch a flat, change tire, adjust chain, etc)

Challenge #9:  Building your strength and pushing your limits- You will run 30 miles in 30 days.  You will train your body to complete 50 push-ups, 100 sit ups and 5 pull ups.

Challenge #10:  Learning to plan – you will plan and complete a weekend backpacking trip with your dad.

Challenge #11:  Helpful life skills- You will learn to touch type over 40 words per minute. You will also plan, shop, prepare and serve one family dinner.

Challenge #12:  Keeping yourself pure- You will go on a Family Life Passport 2 Purity Retreat with your dad.

Looking Forward to 2015

It's that time of year.  Whether you make resolutions or not, this time of year can be one for reflection on the past and planning ahead to the future.  I always make sure to take a few hours by myself at a coffee shop to ponder and pray before diving back into the regularity of daily life.  For 2015, my planning and goal setting will revolve around this wonderful new book, Own Your Life: Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Loveby Sally Clarkson.  I will take the month of January to ponder what priorities God has for me, in my unique family, situation, and with my unique gifts and talents.

Here are some of the things I consider in the areas of marriage, parenting, homeschooling, health, homemaking, and ministry:

 -What went well last year?

 -What is God calling me to change?

 -Which routines are still working for our family?

 -Which routines need a tune-up and which can be dropped?

 -What friendships does God want me to invest in this year?  As finite humans, we can only sustain and deeply invest in a limited number of people- listen for those God would have you focus on this year.

 -What books do I want to read this year?  As a book hound, I've found that having a list keeps me on track to read some challenging classics as well as the just-for-fun reading.  I keep this list on the app, Good Reads and refer to it regularly.  

 -What crafts do I hope to complete this year?

Once I spend time praying over these things by myself, I share what I've learned with my husband as well as ask for his input for the upcoming year.  This is a special time of looking forward together and discuss goals for our family.

Another thing I try to do now (or at the start/end of a school year) is to ask my children some questions.

  -What have we done recently that you really enjoyed?  (I focus on homeschooling, but could apply to any area of their life.)

 -What sports are currently holding their interest?

 -Which friendships would they like to invest in more deeply this year?

 -Is there anything I can do differently to help them in their chores/school/family routines?

 -What would they like to learn about this year?

By asking these questions, I am listening to my kids' current interests and can tailor our calendar to include some of them.  One year, they both mentioned wanting to learn more about dinosaurs so we spent an entire week doing nothing but dinosaurs.  It was a special time of fun and learning in our home.   One child was also able to articulate that he didn't like being rushed.  I now try to slow my own words and actions and also to include more "cushion" into our day to accommodate his need for a slower pace.

Taking time to plan and pray gives me focus and intention to move into a new year.  "Where there is no vision, the people perish."  Proverbs 29:18.

Check out #ownyourlifebook on Instagram for some beautiful photos of ways other people plan to own their lives in 2015.

What do you do to move intentionally into a new year?

http://www.sallyclarkson.com/ownyourlife

the amazon affiliate links in this post help us fund our homeschool- thank you for clicking through.

Priorities

A few months ago, I asked the Lord what my priorities should be at this current season of my life. Here is what He said and then what I wrote in my journal:

"I want you to enjoy all I've given you. Husband, children, creation."

Time and space to be intentional and creative.
The will and personality to not be drawn down the world's path- in parenting, materialism, busyness, food choices, full schedules, full houses...

I remember as a teenager (and even younger) being so committed to being different. I didn't want to fit what I felt was the regular mold- this was mainly expressed through my clothes- I did the almost-gothic thing- funky tights, lots of black, etc. Praise the Lord I was also a committed Christian and was determined not to go down any of the weird paths that can accompany that.

I still feel adamant about this in so many ways. I will not follow the world in my parenting or in the kids' education. I will not succumb to the typical overabundance, overwhelming American lifestyle. We will choose any activities carefully. We will have lots of time for free play and imagination. My children's "center" will be in our home, not with their peers. We will not rush into heavy academics. We will not teach our children to strive for more stuff and more money. We will instill a love of relationships and experiences and imagination and hard work and gratefulness.

Lord- we are gripping onto you and our biblical convictions- the way of culture cannot have our family values!

Stand at the crossroads and look! (Jer. 6:16)